When Perfectionism Isn't the Real Problem
This session snapshot explores how anxiety, when initially framed by the client as perfectionism, was later uncovered to be rooted in something more subtle and systemic. It is drawn from hypnotherapist training, anonymised and edited to illustrate how strategic psychotherapy, in conjunction with hypnosis, works beneath the surface of what first appears to be the problem.
Presenting Situation
The client, a mother of three teenage boys, described persistent anxiety at home. She believed this was due to her perfectionism and high expectations around household tasks. Although she assigned responsibilities to her children, such as keeping their rooms tidy and taking their dirty washing to the laundry room, she often completed the tasks herself. This was because the children were told by her husband that as long as they finished their homework, the household tasks were their mother's responsibility. Attempts to enforce consequences were undermined by her husband, who restored privileges like electronic device screen time.
Discovery Through Strategic Conversation
What emerged in the session was not a pattern of perfectionism, but a deeper pattern of quiet disempowerment. The client’s repeated efforts to set boundaries and uphold responsibilities within the home were consistently overridden by her partner, particularly when it came to the children.
Both she and her husband believed that his role as the primary earner and owner of his own business made his position more important within the relationship. This belief remained in place even though she also ran her own business and carried the full mental and practical load of managing the household.
When asked whether she felt their contributions were equal, the client acknowledged the imbalance but still defaulted to viewing his role as more significant, given that he was the primary income earner. A hypothetical was introduced to gently challenge this perception: “If your business earned more in one day than his business did in five days, would he still be more important than you?”
The client became silent. Her expression changed and although she gave no verbal response, the pause revealed a clear internal shift. It was the session’s first pivot point, a subtle moment of awareness that marked the beginning of reframing the problem.
Hypnotic Direction and Induction
During the hypnotic segment, the focus shifted towards building an internal sense of permission and self-trust. The client was guided to explore unstable attributions, noticing that her reactions weren’t flaws, but learned responses from a disempowering pattern. Cultural expectations were acknowledged as real influences, but not unchangeable ones.
To reinforce the session’s direction, the client was guided through metaphorical imagery. She imagined herself beside a shallow stream flowing gently over a sandy riverbed, with a large round rock in the centre of the current. The rock represented her partner’s fixed cultural beliefs, while the stream symbolised her. She was then invited to return to this same place in her imagination ten years later. On the surface, the rock might appear unchanged. But beneath it, grains of sand had been quietly displaced, little by little, by the steady movement of water. Over time, the rock had slowly sunk.
The metaphor illustrated that even the most rigid structures are not immune to change and that quiet, consistent influence can create meaningful shifts, even when those changes are not immediately visible. In this case, the suggestion was that lasting change may come not from confrontation, but from subtle, patient direction over time.
Session Reflection
The client initially believed her anxiety was about personal standards and household routines. What she uncovered instead was a lifelong pattern of internalising conflict, suppressing her voice and compensating for unequal dynamics. She did not experience a sudden breakthrough but left the session with quiet recognition and a new lens through which to view her role, not as someone who must control, but as someone who could begin to influence her family gently and strategically over time.
Disclaimer
This example is drawn from a training-based reflection and has been fully anonymised. It is shared here to illustrate the structure, tone and direction of a typical strategic hypnotherapy session. It is not as a testimonial or claim of outcome.